PHD in patience!

I really think I have earned a PHD in Patience. By 9am this morning I had my brain abused with these emails.

Hi Xxxxx can get of the plan keep the same phonesl and it does not work for us. The saving will exceed the cost of keeping to the current plan over the next 2 years.
My suggestion is to talk corporate to corporate and see if they would consider it first from a customer view point check with your upline or call to discuss

Michelle

Seriously. If you can decipher that, I will give you a pat on the back. I replied that I had no idea what she had typed and asked if she could try again. I hope Mr. Punctuation and Grammar are around when she types the reply!

And then there is this little gem of a conversation.

Hi Vonney,

Sorry for the late reply, It’s been hectic here.

I think for this you need to check wether your account is delegated to anyone. To check, go to Tools  > Options and then click on the Delegates tab. Is your account delegated to anyone?

Xxxxx

Can’t do it…… L

What can’t you do?

Remove Michael from being able to see my emails. Can’t do what you instructed…..

Can you click on tools?

Yep, can click on tools and options and delegate – where to from here?

(my note: SEE YOU CAN DO WHAT I ASKED YOU TO DO! NOOB!)

This is going to be a long day!

I get bored sometimes

When I get bored at work I send emails around to everyone one our floor. This particular day I was a little cheesed off because usually people don’t wash their dishes in the kitchenette thingy at work and there are so few dishes and cutlery it causes issues. Also, I hid my name with Xxxxx. I want this blog to be semi anonynmous – meaning I don’t want workmates finding out about it incase feelings are hurt etc. However, if you’re determined or I slip up, you’ll probably find out my real name anyway. I just don’t wanna be blatant about it.

EMAIL 1 begin

And it came to pass that the Xxxxx was hungry. And now behold, he went forth to the kitchen thingy to partake of some food yea, Weet Biscuits. Now, behold, it came to pass that as the Xxxxx was journeying to the kitchen, behold he could not find a bowl wherewith to prepare the Weet Biscuits. “Oh woe is me!” He lamented. Being a smart yet humble man, he decided to work with what was there. Perhaps a cup?

cup

Nay, a cup will not do. After a lot of rummaging, behold a bowl was discovered. Indeed it was a fine bowl. Behold the bowl had flowers on it. Being humble, the Xxxxx accepted the bowl with flowers on it and hoped none of his friends saw.

flower

And behold, it came to pass that the Xxxxx was joyous, for behold, he had a bowl. But his joy was not full, yea, he still lacked a spoon. The Xxxxx started to rummage again. Behold, there were plenty of knives, 2 forks and behold, 1 spoon.

spoon

Now this spoon was used by the entire 1^st floor, so therefore the Xxxxx did cleanse it thoroughly. And it came to pass that at this time, the Xxxxx’s joy was full, yea for he had a bowl and a spoon!

And now, it came to pass that as the Xxxxx was partaking of the food, he lamented on the lack of bowls and spoons but was ever grateful for the bowl and spoon he had received and promptly washed and dried and packed the bowl and spoon away in order for the next user to use. Because that is just the kinda guy he is.

EMAIL 1 END

The situation did not change much, people still did not wash dishes and cutlery and dishes are an ongoing problem. A few weeks later I sent this one around.

EMAIL 2 START

And now it came to pass that the Xxxxx did hunger again. Behold, he went forth to the kitchen thingy again to eat. And now, the source of his sustenance was HOME BRAND for he did not have many senines to spare.

weet

And it came to pass that as he went forth he did obtain a bowl, but then he began to despair saying, “Oh that I had a spoon! I desire a spoon and I have none! Wo wo wo unto me!” And this was the manner of his lamenting. And it came to pass that while he was thus lamenting, he spied a spoon. But the spoon which he spied was most filthy. And it was mixed in with other dirtiness.

dirty

Now it did pass into his mind that he could cleanse and purify the spoon, however it is not meet that he should do so. Behold, to do so would prevent proper repentance for the naughtyness that caused this. Therefore he went forth and partook of a cheap substitute, yeah a false spoon.

plastic

And it came to pass that as the Xxxxx was using this false spoon, it did cut his lip  ever so slightly. Not as much as to kill the Xxxxx, but small enough to cause pain. And the Xxxxx was sad.

As the Xxxxx sadly washed his bowl after partaking of the sustenance, he reflected on the situation. He had been happy to find a bowl without flowers on it this time. But his happiness had turned to sorrow when he could not find the one spoon, yea, the spoon used by the entire floor. Using the false spoon was not rewarding yea, it caused much sorrow and a cut lip.

EMAIL 2 END

The next day there was new cutlery, YAY! my peacful protest yielded results.

micro management

During a long car drive I got talking with Jon about computer games and life. We were discussing winning strategies. I had played some games of CNC3 with my brother earlier and I had elected to spend my time organizing my units and getting the little things right. I spent so much time on that, that when my brother showed up with his forces, I was vastly outgunned was wiped out in minutes.

What did I do wrong? I spent too long concentrating on the little stuff. making sure I had everything running perfect, but I was wasting a lot of time! My brother on the other hand quickly got the basics down and started working and researching advanced tech.

How this relates to life is that sometimes so many of us spend all our time and energy taking care of the little stuff. that we forget the bigger picture of living life. For example. I go to work to get money to go to work to get money etc. Or, I go to work to save money for a holiday. Or I am working to get a better quality of life.

I don’t want to look back on my work life and say it was all a hard slog and have nothing to show for it all. I want to be able to say yeah, I worked, but I also managed to see all of New Zealand, and I went and had laughs with friends and I went to canada! and I did somehting that was worthwhile instead of sitting in a cubicle all day and not know why.

Sure, Managing the little things is important, but do not lose sight of why you are doing it!

I never thought it would happen to me!

So we’re parking off at home and wifey pipes up with a story. Apparently this chicky droped her kids off at daycare one day, then drove the family BMW to the airport, sold it for enough money to buy a plane ticket to USA, bought the ticket and left her family behind to go and be with her internet boyfriend! True story! So while we were grappling with how someone could do that, we checked our bank account online.

! hmmm around $300 is missing from our credit card. We were both like wtf? was it you? no… who was it? Puzzled we call the bank and find out the transaction was made that day and it’s has been processed but they are not sure who the vendor is. Weird.

How? Slowly a possibility  rears it’s ugly head. Internet fraud? nah. Next day we go see the bank and find out that wifey’s card number was used. still don’t know the vendor. They say they’ll call us when they know. Credit Card is cut up immediately and cancelled.

Later that day wifey calls up, “DID YOU BUY A PLANE TICKET?” hehe flasheback to the conversation referenced earlier and I am like no way! and wifey is like, well the vendor is some airline! I google the airline and hit nothing. It’s a made up company! Somehow someone got the wifes cc number and made a $300 transaction to a fictitious company! More digging finds another transaction for $600 that was declined. It was tried the day after the successful $300 transaction. They tried to fleece us for $1000!.
So anyway, bank is investigating, police are in touch. Hopefully the bank will refund our cash soon. They have said they would. Really weird. I never thought it would happen to me. Let this be a warning kids! lol the thing is, we have no clue how the card number came out! We have always been really careful. I guess we will be carefuller.

When did gaming become cool?

In school when we discussed gaming it was in a small group while furtively looking around to see if we were being overheard. We discussed things like framerate and rocket jump and pixels. No one else knew or even cared about it.

Our lives revolved aorund 1.44 mb discs and the coolest and newest zipping programs. We would discuss in detail how many disks it would take to install certain games and operating systems. This was our weekends out. This was our clubbing and the only girls we interacted with were named either mom or *.jpg

Games were on PC. The technological revolutions made in this time were driven by gaming. The workplace could still run excel and whatever they needed on their slow machines. The speed and space breakthroughs were driven forward by gaming. We made the gaming industry what is today. PC gamers led the way.

Then came the console wars. Suddenly the jocks we hid our conversations from found a new way to be entertained. They started to move in on our territory, started learning and abusing our lingo. Suddenly noob and pwn and woot were appearing everywhere. Our culture was being ripped apart and consumed by the ever hungry “next cool fad” machine. Even the phrase “hardcore gamer” has lost it’s meaning.

And now even the gaming companies are falling to this. They turn their backs on the people who made them for the cheap thrills and blinky lights that can amuse the n00b masses. They are catering to their new sugerdaddies while leaving their fans and creators out in the cold.

I want games released on PC! I want games worth playing! I want some of the support we have given these companies returned back! It’s not fair! I find myself weakening too. Already I have bought an XBOX and XBOX 360. I am even considering buy ing a wii. It’s not so bad is it? is it? I feel so dirty playing on the xbox. Like a traitor.. but it’s fun.. soo fun… ooohh.. flashy lights.. blinky blinky… erm.. excuse me, I have to go and uh.. play on the uh… xbox… bye…

Let me explain something to you!

I stop getting paid at 4:30pm. Anything I do after that is for love. And I don’t love you. Not one bit. I don’t even like you. Why do you call me at 4:29 and ask for help then? The problem started at 10 this morning. Why do you complain to everyone around you and not to anyone who can help you? Why call now? at 4:29? on a Friday? Better yet, why do I decide to help? Who knows?

I come up to your office. It smells funny. The keyboard is grubby. The helpdesk noob is on the phone to you from America. I look how long he has been on the line. 43 minutes. *sigh*.

Me: Okay Cesar, forward the job ticket to me, I ‘ll take care of it.

Helpdesk noob: OK BYE!

In 5 minutes I have fixed his stupid browser. Why did he have netscape installed? Why it came with AOL of course! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH AOL in New Zealand?!? Apparently it’s cool and you have to pay for it monthly and you get email. Ahuh? well gmail and hotmail and whatever are free. *clickety click* DELETED!

Run spybot it kills a billion spys. Or is it Spies? *clickety clickety click* all fixed. Your computer is now going to download the updates and apply them. You have to do nothing. What if I…? NO! you no touchy!

And then I notice the connection. it keeps dropping off. The downloads will have to be watched and restarted manually every time! Can I trust mr IWAQ-who-calls-at-4:29 to do this? ummmmm no! okay I will watch it until it is done.  Time goes on. and on and on.

5:30 Rolls around. I jump up. I AM LEAVING! mr IWAQ, you will have to restart it manually *start explaining using small words how to restart the download* OKAY?

Yeah okay can you give me your number so I can call you tomorrow morning?

umm. NO! I DO NOT WORK WEEKENDS! THEY ARE MINE! ALL MINE! MY SACRED TIME! HOW DARE YOU!? I SHOULD STRIKE YOU DOWN WHERE YOU STAND! What I actually said was, no, I am sorry I can’t help you tomorrow, I am going to be really busy. I will catch up with you on Monday morning. BYE!

Woohoo I am outta there! I jump in the car and home sweet home! YAY JOY OVERWHELMING!
Waaaahoooooo!

GTA IV

GTA IV.

One aspect about this whole thing annoys me incredibly.

GTA got it’s start as a PC game. Geeks played it an loved it! I thought it was awesome! With GTA 3 came a real 3d environment. loads of fun ensued. GTA San Andreas kicked it up a notch with a solid story and amazing graphics! What a fantastic game. Once again on PC. Rockstar got an incredible amount of support from the PC community I daresay the PC gamers made the company what it is today.

Is it too much to ask then, to give a little something back for the loyalty!? Perhaps by releasing GTA 4 on the PC? NO! what they have done is release it on every platform EXCEPT the PC. The PC is the very platform that made them! I am sure I am not the only gamer out there that feels this way. How incredibly rude! Perhaps it was money? How much did you sell your souls to consoles for? I hope with all my heart that you see the error of your ways and give back to your loyal PC base that has given you so much all these years right from GTA I.

Apart from that whole issue,what an amazing game. There are several times in your life that you feel something and you realise your world will never be the same again. Something small happens and you realise your expectations for the future have changed forever. This happened for me about 6 minutes into the game (Yes I bought it for the XBOX 360. How could I not?). I was learning to drive my car on a detestable controller as opposed to a keyboard and mouse.

Anyway I was travelling at speed and hit a tree head on. The car crashed and stopped but something amazing happened. It caused everyone in the room to go WOAH! My character “Nico” went flying out of the front windshield and landed a few moeters in front of the car and rolled over. This tiny little moment changed things forever. It was so cool! The next hour was spent trying to make him fly through the windscreen again and again. What an amazing thing. I love this game.

I don’t like the foulmouthed idiots my character has to deal with though. I never have liked swearing. I guess I have to take the bad with the good. Definitely not a game for kids, but there you have it.

I dislike strongly people who say video games cause violence. How many thousands played Quake and it was complained about that it causes violence blah blah because some kids went on a shooting rampage and killed a bunch of people. The percantage is neglible when compared to the millions who played the game and never went on a shooting rampage. Video games are the Rock n Roll of the new millenium.

Anyway, that’s my two cents.

Why are they holding us back!?

There is something going on here. If you look around and pay attention, I am sure you can notice it… something odd. When I point it out to you, you will say, “Oh yeah, that is strange”.

We are being held back. Technology wise. Why oh why do they still make car cd players that can’t play mp3s? What is the purpose? Are the Suits out of touch with what is happening? STOP MAKING THESE USELESS CD PLAYERS! Why are you still doing it?

Why are we still using carkeys? Why? What is the point? Why does your house have key locks? Why not swipe access cards? This “key” technology hasn’t changed in years! Time to upgrade! It works, if you are worried about how they will operater when the eletricity gets cut off (especially my family and friends in S.A. at the moment) you can use solar panels and batteries to run these things. ‘cmon people! this is the future! it’s here! why aren’t we implementing these “new” ideas?

What about wifi cell phones? Why can’t your phone automatically switch to IP when it detects a signal? I know phones out there can do it! Why aren’t we implementing it?

All these technologies exist right now! Why are we not using it? There is no way we will have flying cars if we are still using gasoline cars! GET WITH THE FUTURE! IT’S HERE!

Dell Exhibition, goodies galore!

Hey so today was a good day, I had been invited to a Dell exhibition meet and greet and eat thing. We got there at 8:30 and met some people from APC, EMC2, Microsoft and a few others. Oh also Dell.

As we went around to the booths, we got nice loot! I got a cooler bag, a frizbee, a bunch of pens, a thermos flask and some sweets! oh yeah but that’s not the real reason we were there. yeah… right…

We also had to attend some talks about Green Computing (interesting things happening here with server innovations), Virtualisation (this was pretty awesome, I am waiting to see if my application for a spare computer to play with with virtualisation) (With with is not a typo) and one seminaar on Vista readiness. Pretty interesting things.

We had a good lunch (chicken and lasagne), and then it was back to work. Work was crazy but I caught up with everything. I have Monday off so I wanna make sure that I have everything locked away for the weekend.

Monday I am helping out with the WCG Torch relay. Then on Tuesday at 10am we find out our fate as the company announces the merger.

To Battle Stations aboard the panic boat!

So my office is merging with an office in Aussie. If the head office goes there, I may be out of a job, if it stays here in New Zealand, I may be out of a job. In any case, a restructure is on the cards. If I get made redundant (how demeaning – Sir you are redundant!) I may get a nice package which should allow me to get through to some interviews for a good job. Or else, I could sell up and move to Aussie… Or canada?… When the time comes, I feel I will know what to do. Until then I have plans A through F to keep me happy. It would be awesome if people BOUGHT MY PIXELS! then I wouldn’t have to work at all. *sigh*

Things at work have been nicely stable despite IWAQs and little annoyances. I have raged a bit about my workplace, but despite all of that I actually do enjoy my work, don’t get me wrong. I just get frustrated by obviously clueless people.

Take Tom for example. He leaves the office for the day and tells the receptionist that a guy will be coming and he will need a key, and I have the key. BUT HE NEGLECTS TO TELL ME ANY OF THIS! So I am all happy going about my business in the middle of a complicated database update, when I get a call…

Jared, the man’s here…

Um Which man?

the man who needs the key…

err.. which key?

the security key

um why does he need the security key?

to check the secure areas, look I dunno, Tom said the man was coming and you had the key for the man.

Well I know nothing about this, let me just finish this, I will be 2 minutes and then I will be there.

So I finish off this mega sensitive database update and I head down to reception. I look around, there is no man. Receptionist says, “I dunno, I think he’s in the basement” I go down to the basement, no man. I go to reception again and she has no idea where he is so I decide to get back to work and if he turns up again, I will deal with it.

Fast forward 30 minutes and I am elbow deep in another database. All of a sudden, a co worker we will call… Screecher (she has an incredibly screechy voice) comes screeching towards my desk from behind my chair, screeching at the top of her screechy voice (did I mention how screechy her voice was) how I made the man wait downstairs for half an hour! I said calmly, “What man?”

She screeched back, “THE SECURITY MAN!” Now a crowd is forming and people are praire dogging in their cubicles to see the scene. I lost it with this ridiculous woman screeching at me. I yelled back, I DON’T KNOW WHAT MAN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!, she screeeched back that it was the man waiting for the key! I yelled back I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAN OR KEY YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! She screeched back that she had his number and that I should call him. I Yelled back AND TELL HIM WHAT?! by now she was finally getting embarrassed and screeched softly, “To make an appointment to meet him again” There was no way I was backing down now, so I yelled back, “I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS OR WHAT HE WANTS! IT WAS SOME DEAL TOM HAD, GO DEAL WITH HIM! I AM DONE HERE!” and I shooed here away yelling SHOO! SHOO! By now everyone  on the floor was having a good chuckle and I must admit, I started laughing  too, but on the inside.

So Screecher leaves to Tom’s desk (apparently) and everyone erupts in laughter and some people even offered to buy me a drink from the vending machine to cool me down. I slumped into my chair. About 20 minutes ago, I was happy and calm, but now with all that screeching I was so incredibly tense! I counted down the last 10 minutes before hometime and beat it as soon as possible. Apart from that little incident, it was a good day.

All that panic for nothing. Screecher is the queen of storm-in-a-teacup land and she will be the focal point for my next post. For now, PLEASE TRY TO RELAX!